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[DIARY ARCHIVES]
Tuesday
- January 01, 2002
Peer Pressure
In my
journal entry Snow White Wasn't A Voodoo Hermaphrodite I talked
about how the johns can still throw me. What I failed to mention
is that, very often, my favorite partners in crime like to shock
my buttons off too.
I spent a great deal of the weekend talking to Rio
and Randy.
Rio is not only my madame, but just one of the most slamming
people I know. Randy is a horny Canadian
web genius with a one-track mind - so we
all meshed well. Together they are trying to further pervert me,
which is fun in itself.
While testing out Team
Sound software (for nefarious reasons I won't go into
here) we actually had a pretty clear, on-line chat session. No
phones. Just headphones, microphones, and enough sexual innuendo
to put Oscar Wilde to shame.
Randy likes to just lie in wait for me to utter the
doomed-to-be-proven-wrong phrase "there's no such
thing." The other day, I was proven wrong in a variety of
venues, including computer plug-in cybersex hardware. Folks, I
know I'm a phone slut and I'm supposed to know all about it -
but this was a new one on me. There was also my silly denial of
the fact that there just couldn't be a gas-powered sex toy on
the market. That'll teach me. After Randy supplied
this
link all I could say was "Texas Chainsaw
Ouch."
Problem is, I've given Rio and Randy an opportunity to team up,
and they did just that. The now-familiar "come to
Vegas" chanting has escalated to new decibels. You see,
Randy is a webhead, and Rio runs a phone sex empire, so they
both frequent the many sex expos and conventions the industry
has to offer. And they are BOTH constantly trying to woo me into
attending these pageants of sex-industry mayhem. I feel like
Little Nell standing by the side of corruption's pool, dipping
in my toes to test the temperature while they shout and tease
for me to dive on in.
Randy also unearthed the site for I'm
a Cow, which I haven't been able to get out of my head
for days. It's
just…wrong (but hilarious). Be warned, if you click on it -
the song's addictive. Although, the recorded version has nothing
on Randy and Mae's
nibblet belting it out. You really cannot imagine what it sounds
like to hear a four-year-old crooning "get your mind out
the gutter, get your hand off my udder, moooo-oooo…."
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