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Sunday - March 07, 2004
Jellie Bellies 


Has anyone else noticed an increase in the number of pregnant celebrity hotties trotting about high profile events? 

From Cate Blanchett at the Globes to Kate Hudson at the Venice Film Festival to the bevy of babes with buns in the oven over the last few Oscar broadcasts, there is a huge trend for pregnant women in the spotlight to stay in the spotlight.

I am trying to figure out if starlets in general are embracing the motherhood goddess mantra, or if they’ve figured out how many men are really into the pregnant woman thing. I know it surprised the hell outta me when I started this gig.

Pregnant women are a HUGE fetish for many callers, and I’ve noticed they break down into two general categories (1) impregnation fantasies and (2) sex with women with big round bellies.

The impregnation puppies are fascinating because they are, most often, deeply psychological. It’s a very primitive fantasy on one level because it’s all about virility and invasion. It’s very dirty in a sexually charged way while, at the same time, much more non-violent than the average non-consent fantasy. On another level it’s endlessly complicated. This is an individual that doesn’t want to just fuck you, but he wants to leave something behind to plant a seed that festers and germinates and expands you. If you strip away all the politically correct mystique of motherhood and childbirth propaganda, impregnation is about a sort of parasitic branding. Like a hot iron against animal flesh. It’s penetration and injection of fluids and marking territory. Like wolves pissing on trees, it’s spewing spunk into a certain place and making sure that particular place can’t be fertilized by another wolf for at least nine months.

The details these guys demand really challenges and intrigues me. I find myself using phrases that describe the path of jizz excavating its way to my belly. And most of them have specific vocabularies like they prefer “sperm” and don’t want you to use any other word. They always seem to be scientific types or engineering voices. I really can’t explain what that, but if you’ve been in a roomful of computer programmers or chemists, you know there is this exactitude of language they seem to employ; their own vernacular. And the impregnation patrol seem to speak the same way. They have certain words they associate with certain nouns and verbs and that’s simply the way it has to be.

It’s not as creepy as it sounds, but there’s no way NOT to make it sound at least a little disturbing. But then, many psychology-based fantasies are if you just take them at face value or out of context and don’t dissect their deeper levels.

The other type is not as psychological, but nonetheless nod-worthy, and that’s the gaggle of ganders that want to bop a goose that’s full in the tummy. The motivation of these fellows is closer to the path most traveled by that of “I want to talk about something that excites me until I come” and much less “I want to mind-fuck you and pick your brain with psychological sex games.”

Not to be confused with guys that love BBWs the preggo porkers just like the lewdness of fucking a mommy-to-be, especially doggie style (although woman astride is also popular). There’s something about her belly being slapped against her thighs while they fuck her from behind and wrap their hands around her tight, round stomach. Also, anal fantasies are often incorporated into this genre of callers especially if the heifer in question is way along into her term and it wouldn’t be deemed “safe” to have conventional sex. 

A rarer, but no less captivating element of this type of fantasy is the incest factor. Fantasies where fathers impregnate their daughters or step-daughters, or where bothers fuck pregnant sisters. I think it’s taking a nasty pleasure boiled down to its nastiest common denominator in their minds, and it can get both sinister and thorny, but if I’ve never been a girl to shy away from dark and stormy nights. Still, I could see where some sluts especially those that have been pregnant wouldn’t necessarily be able to descend to these depths comfortably. 

But a great many of them can be light-hearted and not at all dark. 

For instance, I have a regular that always loves to cap off a long fantasy call with a pregnancy element. Often an “older man corrupts younger girl” enthusiast, he likes the idea that I’m a teenager (a student of his, or a neighbor, or babysitter) walking around with a pregnant belly like a big old scarlet letter on my belly. Everyone knows I’m a little slut the minute they look at me, mind you, but they have no idea who used me for calligraphy practice. And, of course, there is the physical embodiment of his lust in my bulging tummy, there for him to hold onto every time he bends me over and has his wicked way with me. 

I’ve come to believe that these fantasies are the result of over two decades of safe sex shock and awe. In this day and age where condoms are all but mandatory, blood tests are the norm, and we all but sterilize one another before a romping bump and grind session, this latex-free ejaculation into damp wet feminine depths is somewhat of an act of rebellion. 

It’s hard to say in simple “yes” or “no” form if I get off on these fantasies. I have to say, it’s not something that ever struck me as particularly exciting before the job (anyone that has had pregnant friends knows that the whole “glowing beauty & sexuality of pregnant women” thing is 80% bunk). But, like strangulation fetishes, I have to admit, I’ve found a tiny niche of appeal in it. It depends so much on how the john is getting off on the call on how intense his excitement is, because that can be contagious in a huge, HOT way. 

And, as long as no one sings Paul Anka, there’s never any harm done at any rate.

xox,




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